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  • Writer's pictureKyrstyn Hokey

6 Things that Will Instantly Make You More Attractive

Updated: Sep 18, 2020

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Following these 6 tips will instantly elevate your attractiveness physically and mentally. So let's dive right in!

1. Speaking less frequently and with more intent.

It's a fact that mysterious and attractive people aren't spilling as many words per minute as they can. Our brains are wired to try and figure out enigmas, and when someone is silent they become an enigma to your brain. At least in certain instances.

I'm going to give you an example.

You come into a circle of friends at a party and there's a new person in that circle that you've never seen before. They're not talking, but pleasantly listening to the conversation going on around them. This person is physically attractive and you're struck with the feeling of wanting to know more about them. You're not standing there literally thinking "this person is an enigma to my brain because I haven't heard them speak yet", but you're subconsciously waiting for them to divulge something about themselves. Some kind of information that will feed you data on who they are and what they're like. They'll inadvertently give information about who they are by what they're wearing, what kind of haircut they have, how they're standing, but more importantly what they say and how they say it.

They're interesting to you because they didn't blurt out their history immediately. They left themselves a mystery. Like I said before, our brains want to figure out mysteries and they want to puzzle-out enigmas.

One of the most attractive traits is being seen and not heard. I'm not saying to never speak in public, that of course would be ridiculous. But we can instantly be more attractive by speaking less often, speaking more slowly, speaking with more intent, and by only giving necessary information.

2. Giving your full attention to the speaker and cultivating their conversation.

We as humans tend to be pretty selfish creatures. We want others to talk about what is happening to us. What's going on in our lives, our career, our home, our health problems, our children and their accomplishments, our spouses and their successes or their faults, our opinions, our feelings, etc... and while most of us fight hard to not exasperate our listeners with too much talk of "me", we still want a listener.

It's true that when someone is going through a hard time, they don't necessarily need you to fix it for them. They probably just want a listener.

When you give your full attention to someone, you're telling them that what they're saying is interesting to you. They can't help but feel flattered that someone would be interested when 9 out of 10 people aren't (probably because what they're saying is boring and full of only their own concerns). Here's a life-saving tip: You don't actually have to be interested.

I would never promote using this as a way to flatter people so they'll think more highly of us. There are definitely negative ways this could be used, but I don't stand by those. I merely put it to the reader that listening is a very attractive trait in another person.

3. Smiling...and having a clean, white smile.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've heard it countless times that "smiling makes you more attractive". We get it. But I seldom hear encouragement on having and attaining that said smile.

A white (or ivory.... just not yellow) smile is worth investing the money in. Upgrade your toothpaste (I've had much success with charcoal-infused toothpaste), eat a healthier diet, brush twice a day for a decent amount of time, and avoid drinking too many teeth-staining drinks.

Probably invest in some whitening occasionally!

4. Smelling nice and having a signature scent.

You've heard it said before that smell is our strongest memory-inducer. And it's true! I can smell something and immediately recollect the situation in which I first smelled it, what I was thinking at the time, and how I felt. It's creepy how much scent plays on our memories and recollections of people.

Invest in a signature scent. You can even change it up slightly for seasonal changes but have a scent that people will remember you by.

Find the perfume you had while you were dating your spouse and use it for your next date! It will spark some feelings associated with those memories.

5. Living your purpose.

I find that the most attractive people I know are dedicated to something higher than themselves.

They have a purpose, a drive, something they're living out.

What's more attractive: a man with a passion and a purpose or a man with no motivation sitting on the couch eating Cheetos all day long? Purposes come in all shapes and sizes. It might be your passion, your faith, your job, something you really believe in.

6. Being grateful and not entitled.

This one is huge. First of all, no one owes you their time, love, or attention. Those things are freely given, otherwise they would be forced and cancel out their own merits. I've come across people who expect to be served, loved, and thought about at all times of the day. They're not attractive. It's weird, but some of them were actually very good looking people and I still don't think they're attractive because of this character trait. That bad trait influences how I perceive their physical self.

We need to be grateful for everything we have, everyone in our lives, and the time we have to spend with each other. Being grateful for what God has given you really stands out in a crowd.

9 out of 10 people these days have the mindset of "if I only had this I would be happy", but it's not true. We have everything we need to be content. Gratitude breeds contentment, and where there's contentment there's peace.


Some of these are going to require a lot of work! I know that for me I still have a way to go before I get where I want to be.

Be honest with yourself. Figure out where you can improve and don't wait!


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